Losing a pet is an incredibly stressful experience. When Shannon’s cat, Missy, went missing, her first thought was to create a poster to spread the word around her neighborhood. Turning to her colleague, David Thorne, for help seemed like a logical step. After all, how hard could it be to create a simple “Cat Missing” poster? As you’ll soon see, the answer is apparently very hard, especially when David Thorne is involved. What followed was an email exchange that perfectly captures the frustration of asking for help and receiving, well, something else entirely. If you’ve ever felt exasperated trying to get a simple message across, or if you’re currently dealing with the stress of a cat missing, you might find a strange comfort in Shannon’s story. Let’s dive into this comical, yet relatable, tale of a missing cat poster gone wrong.
The Desperate Plea for a Missing Cat Poster
It all began with a simple email from Shannon to David on a Monday morning:
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.15am
To: David Thorne
Subject: PosterHi, I opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not to busy you could make a poster for me. It has to be A4 and I will photocopy it and put it around my suburb this afternoon.
This is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old. missing on Harper street and my phone number.
Thanks Shan
Missy, the missing black and white cat, photo provided by Shannon for the poster.
Shannon’s email is straightforward and to the point. She provides all the necessary information: Missy’s name, description (black and white, 8 months old), location missing (Harper Street), and her phone number. She even includes a photo of Missy. What could possibly go wrong?
David’s Unique Interpretation of a “Cat Missing” Poster
David’s initial response sets the tone for the entire exchange – sarcasm and dramatic exaggeration.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.26am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: PosterDear Shannon,
That is shocking news. Luckily I was sitting down when I read your email and not half way up a ladder or tree. How are you holding up? I’m surprised you managed to attend work at all what with thinking about Missy out there cold, frightened and alone… possibly lying on the side of the road, her back legs squashed by a vehicle, calling out “Shannon, where are you?”
Although I have two clients expecting completed work this afternoon, I will, of course, drop everything and do whatever it takes to facilitate the speedy return of Missy.
Regards, David
While seemingly offering help, David’s over-the-top reaction hints at the humorous (and unhelpful) path he’s about to take. Shannon, understandably focused on her missing cat, simply replies:
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.37am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Posteryeah ok thanks. I know you dont like cats but I’m really worried about mine. I have to leave at 1pm today
This is followed by David’s first poster attempt, which is… well, see for yourself.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.17am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: PosterDear Shannon,
I never said I dislike cats. Once, having been invited to a party, I went clothes shopping and bought a pair of expensive boots. They were two sizes too small but I wanted them so badly I figured I could just wear them without socks and cut my toenails really short. Unfortunately, I lost all feeling in my feet and stumbled into a guy named Steven, spilling Malibu & Coke onto his ‘Choose Life’ t-shirt, and he punched me. An hour or so after the incident, Steven sat down in a chair already occupied by a cat. The surprised cat clawed and snarled causing Steven to leap out of the chair, slip on a rug and strike his forehead onto the corner of a floor speaker; resulting in a two inch open gash. In its shock, the cat also defecated, leaving Steven with a wet brown stain down the back of his beige cargo pants. I liked that cat.
Attached poster as requested.
Regards, David
David’s first poster design: More movie poster than missing cat ad.
This poster is a masterpiece of misinterpretation. Instead of a clear and informative cat missing poster, David delivers something resembling a dramatic movie advertisement. The photo of Missy is tiny, overshadowed by the large “MISSING” text designed in a theatrical style.
Navigating Constructive Criticism (David-Style)
Shannon’s reaction is immediate and understandable:
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.24am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Posteryeah thats not what I was looking for at all. it looks like a movie and how come the photo of Missy is so small?
David’s reply is classic designer deflection, blaming “negative space” for the bizarre design choices.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.28am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: PosterDear Shannon,
It’s a design thing. The cat is lost in the negative space.
Regards, David
Shannon, now clearly stressed and emotional, tries to provide more direct feedback:
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.33am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: PosterThats just stupid. Can you do it properly please? Im extremely emotional over this and was up all night in tears. you seem to think its funny. Can you make the photo bigger please and fix the text and do it in colour please.
Thanks.
David’s response to “constructive criticism” is a hilarious rant about designer egos, followed by another poster attempt.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.46am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: PosterDear Shannon,
Having worked with designers for a few years now, I would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism. I don’t come downstairs and tell you how to send text messages, log onto Facebook, and look out the window.
I’m willing, however, to overlook this faux pas as you are no doubt preoccupied with thoughts of Missy attempting to make her way home across a busy intersection or being trapped in a drain as it slowly fills with water. I spent three days down a well once but that was just for fun.
I have amended and attached the poster as per your instructions.
Regards, David
Poster version 2: Now in color, but still missing the mark.
Poster version two is… colorful. It’s in color as requested, and the photo is slightly larger, but the overall design is still far from a helpful cat missing poster. The addition of a bright yellow background and a cartoonish font doesn’t exactly scream “urgent pet search.”
Escalating Absurdity in the Search for a Lost Cat
Shannon’s frustration is palpable in her next email:
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.59am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: PosterThis is worse than the other one. can you make it so it shows the whole photo of Missy and delete the stupid text that says missing missy off it? I just want it to say lost.
David, of course, takes this as an opportunity to double down on the absurdity:
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.14am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: PosterPoster version 3: Simply “Lost”. Minimalist, and still unhelpful.
Poster number three is minimalist to say the least. Just “Lost” in large, plain text above the photo of Missy. While technically fulfilling Shannon’s request to remove “Missing Missy,” it’s hardly an improvement in terms of getting the message across effectively.
Shannon, now clearly at her wit’s end, tries to spell it out in excruciating detail:
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.21am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Posteryeah can you do the poster or not? I just want a photo and the word lost and the telephone number and when and where she was lost and her name. Not like a movie poster or anything stupid. I have to leave early today. If it was your cat I would help you.
Thanks.
David’s reply includes another lengthy, irrelevant anecdote about a cat and a passive-aggressive jab about helping if it were his cat, culminating in poster version four.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.32am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: AwwwDear Shannon,
I don’t have a cat. I once agreed to look after a friend’s cat for a week but after he dropped it off at my apartment and explained the concept of kitty litter, I kept the cat in a cardboard box in the shed and forgot about it. If I wanted to feed something and clean faeces, I wouldn’t have put my mother in that home after her stroke. A week later, when my friend came to collect his cat, I pretended I wasn’t home and mailed the box to him. Apparently I failed to put enough stamps on the package and he had to collect it from the post office and pay eighteen dollars. He still goes on about that sometimes, people need to learn to let go.
Please find attached the amended version of your poster as per your detailed instructions.
Regards, David
Poster version 4: An orange cat makes an unexpected appearance.
This time, David swaps Missy’s photo for a picture of an orange cat! The poster now features a completely incorrect cat, further highlighting David’s deliberate lack of helpfulness.
Orange Cats and Basset Hounds on Wheels
Shannon, understandably confused, points out the obvious:
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.47am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: AwwwThats not my cat. where did you get that picture from? That cat is orange. You have a photo of my cat.
David’s justification is… something else. He suggests Shannon might “get a better cat out of this” and launches into a bizarre tangent about a basset hound with wheels.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.58am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: AwwwShannon,
I know, but that one is cute. As Missy has likely met any one of several violent ends, it’s possible you might get a better cat out of this. If anybody calls and says, “I haven’t seen your orange cat but I did find a black and white one with its hind legs run over by a car, do you want it?” you can politely decline and save yourself a costly veterinarian bill.
I knew someone who had a basset hound that had its hind legs removed after an accident and it had to walk around with one of those little buggies with wheels. If it had been my dog, I would have asked for all its legs to be removed and replaced with wheels. I could charge neighbourhood kids for rides and enter it in races. If I did the same with a horse, I could drive it to work. I’d call it Steven.
Regards, David
Shannon, bless her patience, simply reiterates her request:
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.07pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: AwwwPlease just use the photo I gave you.
Rewards and Final (Forced) Acceptance
Finally, David uses the correct photo again, but adds an unexpected element: a reward.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.22pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: AwwwPoster version 5: A reward is offered… that Shannon didn’t authorize.
Poster number five includes a “$2000 reward,” which Shannon immediately objects to.
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.34pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: AwwwI didnt say there was a reward. I dont have $2000 dollars. Why did you even put that there? Apart from that its perfect can you please remove the reward bit.
Thanks Shan
David removes the reward, then adds it back, seemingly just to prolong the interaction.
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.42pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: AwwwPoster version 6: Reward reinstated.
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: AwwwCan you just please take the reward bit off altogether? I have to leave in ten minutes and I still have to make photocopies of it.
Finally, with Shannon’s deadline looming, David relents (sort of).
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.56pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: AwwwPoster version 7: The final, grudgingly accepted, poster.
From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 1.03pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: AwwwFine. That will have to do.
Shannon’s final “Fine. That will have to do” perfectly encapsulates the feeling of having to settle for less than ideal when time and patience run out.
Lessons Learned (and Laughed At) in the Search for a Missing Cat
While this email exchange is undeniably humorous, it highlights the very real stress and frustration that comes with having a cat missing. When you’re worried about your beloved pet, dealing with unhelpful or intentionally difficult people is the last thing you need.
If you find yourself in Shannon’s situation and have a cat missing, remember these key steps for creating effective posters (and maybe avoid asking David Thorne for help):
- Clear Photo: Use a clear, recent photo of your cat.
- Large and Simple Text: “LOST CAT” or “MISSING CAT” in large, easy-to-read font.
- Key Details: Breed, color, name, distinguishing features, date and location last seen.
- Contact Information: Your phone number is essential.
- Consider a Reward: While Shannon didn’t offer one initially, a reward can incentivize people to be extra vigilant.
- Keep it Concise: People should be able to grasp the key information at a glance.
And if you ever feel like your request is being deliberately misinterpreted, just remember Shannon and Missy’s poster saga – and maybe have a laugh amidst the stress of your cat missing situation. Hopefully, Missy made her way home safely, despite the poster design debacle.
